we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
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