can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Randomize
