Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
Randomize
