The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
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