I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
Randomize
