bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
someone owes me an orgasm
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
And my parents said I crawled through the house
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
Randomize
