How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
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My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
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Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
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