Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize
