I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
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