i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
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