you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
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