Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize