google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Randomize
