come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
