Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
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