i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
I can't put those talents on a resume
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
Randomize
