Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
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