we need to drink 2009 down the drain
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
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