I am in a vortex of obligation.
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
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