God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
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