Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
Randomize
