I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
Randomize
