just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
You don't make any sense
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