How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
I looked at my own cervix.
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
Randomize
