This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
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