So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
Randomize
