I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Randomize
