and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Randomize
