oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
Randomize
