fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
Randomize
