So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
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