Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
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