Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
Randomize
