Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
The struggles of a small town man whore
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
Randomize
