nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize
