you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
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