Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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