The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
Randomize
