please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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