No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
Randomize
