I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Randomize
