I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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