the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
You were trust falling into bushes
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
Randomize
