Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
She made me pour olive oil on her.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
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