She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize
