I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
Randomize
