her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
Randomize
