R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
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