I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
Randomize
