What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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