We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
Randomize
