Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Randomize
