wake up i wanna do it froggy style
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize
