"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
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