You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
Randomize
