just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
i wish starbucks made bloody marys
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
Randomize
