So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
Randomize
