Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
