I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
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I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
How come I'm the only one who's around when people show up? I had just taken a shit, I wasn't wearing pants, phantom of the opera was playing and the fridge said PENIS.
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
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The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
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