your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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